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{Heart4Teens.com} *If You Are Real*
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Good morning Heart4Teens.com readers!
Today I am very excited to share a story with you by an author named T. Suzanne Eller! This past year she sent me her book entitled: Real Teens, Real Issues: "What Every Parent Should Know." I read the book from cover to cover one evening and then I shared it with my wife and all of my youth leaders. I have also purchased extra copies to share with any of the parents of teens in our youth group who may want to read it. I highly recommend this book to every parent, every youth pastor, every youth leader, every teacher, and every coach. It was refreshingly "real". It is about time that someone dealt with the real issues that teens are dealing with without all the fluff that you usually find in a book geared towards teens.
If you would like to check out two of her books that I highly recommend please visit:
http://www.Heart4Teens.com/Eller
From my family to yours,
Michael
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If You Are Real
By T. Suzanne Eller
(excerpted from Real Teens, Real Stories, Real Life ISBN 1589195000)
copyright, 2002, T. Suzanne Eller
The small church was crowded. All around me people worshiped a god that I didn't believe existed. Why was I there? My neighbor asked me to come. To be honest, I thought they would leave me alone if I did.
I wasn't sure what to expect. I had attended services with my family a few times, but it was more of a ritual or a way to celebrate holidays. What I hadn't anticipated was the wetness pressed against my eyelids as I clenched them shut.
My motto? Never let them see you cry. I wasn't about to break down in front of people I didn't know. I wasn't crying because I felt the presence of God or that I sensed his love for me. I fought tears because I was mad, so angry that I shook inside. How dare the preacher stand there and talk about the love of God. It was easy for him and people like him to spout off about a God who existed, who had a purpose for every person. Well, maybe their God had taken a personal interest in them but he didn't live at my house.
The mother I am about to share with you is the not the mom I have now. You see, she had an encounter with God, and he brought her out of the darkness of emotional pain and healed her. In order to share my story, I have to share a little bit of hers as well.
My mom left home at 16 years old, pregnant and newly married to a boy who thought he was a man. She lost her first baby to cystic fibrosis when the toddler was less than two years old. She had her second child at 18 and left her husband at the age of 21. He came to visit her one night and forced her to have sex. She discovered two weeks later she was pregnant.
I was that baby.
Mom married a good man who loved her and the two little kids that came as a package deal. But in spite of this turn of events, my mom was fragile. Like stained glass, she was pretty on the outside, but the broken pieces of her life created the portrait.
Growing up, I never knew what to expect. Would it be the mom who brought home suckers to surprise us, or the woman who spouted horrific things as she ran out the door and threatened to kill herself? There was physical abuse and apologies. There were humiliating punishments, harsh words, and tearful requests for forgiveness.
Please don't get me wrong. It wasn't always bad in my home, but when it was it was loud and chaotic and frightening. I feared one day that my mom would pull the trigger or hurt herself. I hated the words that came out of her mouth when she was angry.
One day my mom chased me through the house, brandishing an umbrella as she screamed at me. I ran out the door and into the rain. I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans and no shoes. The cold rain pelted me as I ran down Latimer Street. I pushed through the wetness, pumping my arms as I ran as fast as I could. Finally I stopped, bending down to catch my breath as my tears meshed with the raindrops. I slowly turned around and walked home, sat on the curb, and wept until my throat closed.
I was stuck. I couldn't run away. I had no money, no place to go. I was 13 years old. Where could I go?
I started smoking at the bus stop, pushing boundaries with my teachers, and drinking with my best friend. My attempts to be tough must have appeared hilarious to others. I was skinny to a fault and looked younger than my age. Being tough didn't come natural. My heart was gentle and I hated conflict and fighting, yet every single time I let my guard down someone hurt me.
Angry words all sharp and pointy, a knife in my soul.
That's when the hardness crept in. Never let them see you cry. Never give them a chance to know you care.
One day it all came to a head. My mom pulled us around her in her bedroom. She put a gun to her head and threatened to shoot herself. I was scared, but not because I thought she would die, but because under my breath I whispered, "just do it".
Who was this person I was becoming?
Two years later I stood in the little church. The pastor sang, strumming on the guitar as people knelt at the altar. "He loves you," he said. "He has a plan for your life."
Yeah, right. I pointed my chin at the sky, my eyes closed, and I challenged this God of which he spoke. "If you are real," I whispered, "and I don't believe you are, but if you exist and you know me and you love me like he says, I need to know."
I expected nothing, yet I received everything as a tender touch reached past my hardened heart. I've had trouble explaining this moment to people over the years. "Did you see God?" No. "Did you feel God's presence?" Yes, but so subtle and deep inside of me, touching areas that I had closed long ago to anybody, that I knew it was God.
Tears broke and streamed down my cheeks and for the first time in a long time I wept. I felt as if He had wrapped me in a warm blanket, enclosing me in his love. I stumbled from the church. I ran home and told my mom that I had just got "saved", though I really didn't understand what had occurred.
Did everything magically change? No. My circumstances were still the same, but everything was different on the inside of me.
I made mistakes, huge blunders as I tried to learn what it meant to follow Jesus as my Savior. I wasn't perfect, but I understood his love. I knew I wanted to know more. The people of that little church ministered to me in ways they will never understand. There were times I wept at the altar and then went home to chaos. There were times I fell in my walk with Christ and their gentle encouragement helped me to keep going.
It is amazing what can happen when God restores a broken life. It can be beautiful like the portrait that my mom is now, the shattered pieces of her life assembled together in a beautiful picture of God's mercy.
Today I am a mom, an author, a speaker, and a wife. I have the opportunity to minister to teens and women across the nation, sharing the story of my life and the beauty of purpose and the fact that God loved us from the beginning. My mother and father were saved when I was in my junior year of high school. I found a note from my dad under my pillow one day. I still carry it with me, the tattered pieces a reminder of what God has done. My quiet father, who very rarely shared the depth of his emotions, said in that letter, "I have watched you and I see that you have something that is of great worth, a treasure. I know that it is real and I admire you for your faith and your love for God."
We have never spoken of that letter, but it came at a time when I prayed for a sign. "God, show me that you hear my prayers. Heal my family. Let me know that you are listening." The folded piece of paper under my pillow was heaven sent and priceless.
For years my mom and I have been best of friends. She is compassionate, loving, and whole, and the memories of our past are forgiven and forgotten.
Today I am still running after the same God that touched my life when I was 15. I always tell my teen audiences that one day I'll be an old woman running after God with my walker. You see, he's done a million things for me. He's been with me through difficult times, but my love for him will always be wrapped around that first moment when he reached down to an angry, hurting, skinny 15-year old teenager and silently whispered that he loved me.
I still can't help but whisper back, "I love you too".
T. Suzanne Eller (Suzie)
tseller@daretobelieve.org
Write Suzie and let her know your thoughts on her story!
T. Suzanne Eller (Suzie) is the author of Real Teens, Real Stories, Real Life (and other books) and a speaker to teens and parents of teens. Find out more about Real Teen Faith, a website with advice, poetry, a parenting newsletter, youth culture news, and more at http://realteenfaith.com or contact her at tseller@daretobelieve.org.
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Let's Go Surfing Dude!
Are You Battling Depression? - Depression is bearing down on you like a huge boulder. Where Do You Turn?
http://www.heart4teens.com/depression
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Thought For The Day:
"Let not the nation count wealth as wealth; let it count righteousness as wealth."
--Confucious
Verse for the Day:
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." --Psalm 33:12
Teen's Thought For The Day:
"The bad guy doesn't always wear a black hat."
Parent's Thought For The Day:
"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble." -- Dennis Fakes
Coach's Thought For The Day:
"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."--Thomas Jefferson
Deep Thought For The Day:
"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed me a lot of money."
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Author MICHAEL T. POWERS
www.Heart4Teens.com
Contributing Author to Chicken Soup for the Teen's Soul on Love and Friendship and 21 other inspirational books.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
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ALL-STAR Ministry
--The Youth Church of Faith Community Church in Janesville, WI
If you are in 6-12th grade and live in the southern Wisconsin/northern Illinois area and would like to check us out, we meet every Sunday night from 6:30-8:00 PM at Faith Community Church which is located at 2931 Lucerne Dr. in Janesville, WI. (About 3 blocks south-east of The Skating Place.)
Currently we have students from Fort Atkinson, Milton, Janesville Craig, Janesville Parker, Marshall, Orfordville, Clinton, Beloit Memorial, Beloit Turner, South Beloit, and Hononegah. E-mail me back if you have any questions about our weekly meetings or would like to come to any of our events that are listed below... We have way too much fun and then, most importantly, talk about issues that are relevant to you as a teenager.
This Week: Sunday July 24 -- Chris Tomlin Concert at Summerwood! Be at the church by 5:45 PM and we will return to the church at 10:30 PM!
Upcoming Events
July 8-19: Guatemala Missions Trip!
August 14-15: 30-Hour Famine (high school only)
September 16-18: Annual Fall Retreat!
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Teen Community Groups
6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights (September though May)
Wednesday night community groups for teens. The groups are limited to no more than ten teens and are split into Jr. High and High School ages. This night is for those teens who want to dig deeper than what we do in All-Stars, but may not be ready to be a part of the Extreme Teens. These cell groups will also be doing special activities with each other as the year goes on to build community.
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The Extreme Teens
"Extreme Teens" meet Wednesday nights from 6:30 - 8:00 PM (All Year Round)
This group is very extensive with weekly homework, memorization, service projects, etc. Students interested in this group will have to fill out an application, provide references as to why others think they should be involved with this, and sign an agreement as to what is expected of them.
Join us this summer as we develop a Christian World View!
