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{Heart4Teens.com}  *The Frog and the Prince*

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Good morning Heart4Teens subscribers!

It is with great pleasure that I get to introduce to all of you a young lady who has become very special to us: Paula Marsden. She has been in our youth group the last couple of years and has a leadership role in what we call our "Xtreme Teens".  I have been involved with youth ministry for 18 years and coached teenage girls for the past 15 years and I can count on one hand the number of young ladies who are as Godly as Paula. Which is why I am so glad I get to share something with all of you that Paula has written. 

May it challenge all of you in your thinking and may you take the time to write to Paula after you have read her article to let her know your thoughts on the subject... If you want to cc what you write to Paula to me also, I will print some of your responses in the next Heart4Teens email!

From my family to yours,
Michael

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The Frog and the Prince

By Paula Marsden


"Do you have a boyfriend yet Paula?"  I roll my eyes and shake my head just thinking of the many times someone has asked me that question.  In our culture today, this is a fairly justifiable question to ask an 18-year-old girl.  However, this 18-year-old does not have a standard response.  I say, "No, I don't need one."  Most girls would say this just after a devastating breakup and they say it bitterly because they don't want to discuss it.  Neither is true for me. When I say it it's because at this point in my life I truly don't need one.

I don't see the point in having countless boyfriends before finally settling down with "Mr. Right".  This system of finding a mate is similar to the concept of going to a pond and kissing frog after frog, hoping that one of them will turn into a prince.  I find the concept of dating foolish, and so I am going to practice courtship. 

Courting simply means that you don't get into a serious relationship with the opposite sex until you are certain that this is the person you will marry.  This method would be like waiting for the frogs to turn themselves into princes and then kissing the prince.  Until then, going out with groups of friends is the best way to find "Mr. or Mrs. Right."

Until I read the book, I Kissed Dating Good-bye by Joshua Harris, I was fairly neutral on this subject because I wasn't interested in having a romantic relationship.  Since reading this book, however, I am thoroughly convinced that courtship is the wisest and most godly way to find a husband or wife. 

One of the biggest problems with conventional dating is the emotional roller coaster it creates.  Well, perhaps a more accurate analogy would be a demolition derby.  When you invest so much of your time, money, and energies into someone without a serious commitment to speak of, your heart is bound to get shattered.  Many young people today get very intimate in their relationships, but what they fail to realize is that intimacy doesn't mean commitment.

Another fault with dating is that it skips the "neutral" friendship stage of the relationship.  By doing this, you not only miss out on a great friendship, but you never really get to know the person for who they are.  A dating couple tends to show only the "best" sides of themselves, so you never really get to know someone for who they truly are.  In a friendship, you often get to see both the good and the bad of a person and there is nothing to lose if the person turns out to be a jerk.

True love is often a forgotten concept in American teenage culture nowadays.  It is commonly understood that love means having a physical relationship with someone or feeling good when you are with that person or just thinking about that person.  This "love", 99% of the time is really a selfish love, which isn't love at all.  Selfish love is an oxymoron.  The entire concept of love is about forgetting yourself and your needs and wants to be concerned about someone else.  In a dating relationship, much of the focus is on how much fun you had or how you felt while with that person.  This is certainly not love.  Love is not about feelings.  Love is not about you. Love is sacrificing your own desires so that the other person can have the best.

One thing that I've decided to do in my life is to guard my heart.  I have seen too many of my friends open up their heart to a guy only to have their hearts broken.  I want a full, unbroken heart to offer to my husband, so I've decided not to even get interested in anyone unless I know he is the one God has chosen for me -- that is if He even wants me to marry.

I was praying one night and God gave me this story as a sort of analogy to what guarding your heart is about:

I'm standing in a room crowded with young men.  As I look around, I'm tempted to pick out which one should be my husband.  I force my eyes closed and ask God to blindfold me so that I cannot look.  I must resist the temptation to peek or else I will see one of the young men and think it's him, my future husband.  I must wait for God to lead one over to me and wait for Him (God) to take my blindfold off when it's time.  I will see only one man in the room.  He will be all I could ever want in a husband and I will be absolutely content.  This is how I must guard my heart.  I just have to wait patiently for God to bring him to me, so that I don't set my heart on a frog instead of a prince.

God has lead me to the acceptance that I might get married sometime in my life.  He has also brought me to the realization that I don't need to do anything right now.  I'm not ready to get married by any means, so I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.  Eventually God may bring someone into my life for me to marry.  Until then, I pray that God will help me to wait so that that I don't kiss any frogs before my prince arrives.

Paula Marsden
living4Jesus247@hotmail.com

E-mail Paula and let her know your thoughts on her article!

Paula Marsden is a senior in high school and is busy applying for colleges and scholarships.  She hopes to go to a Christian college and major in Ministry.  When she's not doing homework or filling out applications, she enjoys reading, hanging out with her parents and two younger brothers and sister.  Paula's goal is to follow God's will for her life and to glorify Him all she does.

To get a hold of your own copy of Joshua Harris' book: "I Kissed Dating Good-Bye", please visit:

http://www.Heart4Teens.com/Recommendations


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Thought For The Day:

"If at first you don't succeed, try hard work." --William Feather


Verse for the Day:

"Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table." --Proverbs 14:23


Teen's Thought For The Day:

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal."


Parent's Thought For The Day

"There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes." --Art Buchwald


Coach's Thought For The Day

"Anyone can take first provided there is no second entry."


Deep Thought For The Day:

"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you
think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at
that moment."

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Author MICHAEL T. POWERS
www.Heart4Teens.com

Contributing Author to Chicken Soup for the Teen's Soul on Love and Friendship and 20 other inspirational books.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

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ALL-STAR Ministry

--The Youth Church of Faith Community Church in Janesville, WI

If you are in 6-12th grade and live in the southern Wisconsin/northern Illinois area and would like to check us out, we meet every Sunday night from 6:30-8:00 PM at Faith Community Church which is located at 2931 Lucerne Dr. in Janesville, WI. (About 3 blocks south-east of The Skating Place.)

Currently we have students from Fort Atkinson, Milton, Janesville Craig, Janesville Parker, Marshall, Orfordville, Clinton, Beloit Memorial, Beloit Turner, South Beloit, and Hononegah. E-mail me back if you have any questions about our weekly meetings or would like to come to any of our events that are listed below... We have way too much fun and then, most importantly, talk about issues that are relevant to you as a teenager.


New Series!  "The Seven Checkpoints"
 
THIS WEEK:  Sunday November 21 -- Spiritual Disciplines Part 2

Sunday November 28 -- Spiritual Disciplines Part 3

Sunday December 5 -- Moral Boundaries 
Sunday December 12 -- Moral Boundaries Part 2
Sunday December 19 -- Moral Boundaries Part 3
Sunday December 26 -- Christmas Party!

Sunday January 2 -- Healthy Friendships
Sunday January 9 -- Healthy Friendships Part 2
Sunday January 16 -- Healthy Friendships Part 3
Sunday January 23 -- Wise Choices
Sunday January 30 -- SnoBall Weekend!

Sunday Febuary 6 -- SuperBowl Party!
Sunday February 13 -- Wise Choices Part 2
Sunday February 20 -- Wise Choices Part 3
Sunday February 27 -- Ultimate Authority

Sunday March 6 -- Ultimate Authority Part 2
Sunday March 13 -- Ultimate Authority Part 3
Sunday March 20 -- Others First
Sunday March 27 -- No Youth Group Easter Sunday

Sunday April 3 --  Others First Part 2
Sunday April 10 -- Others First Part 3


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Teen Community Groups
6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights
 
Wednesday night community groups for teens. The groups are limited to no more than ten teens and are split into Jr. High and High School ages. This night is for those teens who want to dig deeper than what we do in All-Stars, but may not be ready to be a part of the Extreme Teens. These cell groups will also be doing special activities with each other as the year goes on to build community.

Join us as we do a Bible Study called "Life Together!"
 
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The Extreme Teens

6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights  is on Wednesday nights from 6:30 - 8:00 PM

"Extreme Teens" meet Wednesday nights from 6:30 - 8:00 PM (September -May). This group is very extensive with weekly homework, memorization, service projects, etc. Students interested in this group will have to fill out an application, provide references as to why others think they should be involved with this, and sign an agreement as to what is expected of them.

Join us as we study the book "A Life God Rewards For Teens"

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Reading Books, Changing Lives!


For those of you who love to read or love to give out books as gifts...

You can now order a number of different autographed best-selling inspirational books for the same price you would get them in the store, the shipping to you is paid for, and you are helping change the lives of teenagers and those they come in contact with! 

If you love to read inspirational stories, these books are most likely those you will eventually buy anyway. And how cool would it be to be able to buy books like those in the Chicken Soup series for your friends and family with a personalized autographed message by one of the contributing authors! How's that for a unique gift! Check out this link to find out more!

http://www.HeartTouchers.com/books