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{Heart4Teens.com}  *My Boyfriend Wants to Have Sex*

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My Boyfriend Wants to Have Sex

by Dawson McAllister


"I met a guy last year, and we have been going out since then. The thing is, he has been willing to have sex and keeps pushing me to do it. I know that it is against God's law, but I don't want to wait. If I found the right guy (which I think that I have), at the perfect place and time, I think that I could do it. But if I don't do it now, I am afraid I might lose him. I will hold on as long as I can, but please answer quickly. I don't want to lose him." -- Patricia

   
You are honest, Patricia, and I respect that. And that means I'm going to be honest with you, completely honest and straight up. After all, we're not talking kiddy games here.  I sense you do not understand what a dangerous path you are on. You simply don't realize how high the stakes are in your decision whether or not you go to bed with this guy.

You're well aware that sex before marriage is against God's law. You admit that. You know that it's wrong. I know it's wrong. God tells us it's wrong.

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in a passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.
          -I Thessalonians 4:3-5

God again makes it very clear in Ephesians 5:3:

"But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people."

That's what God tells you, Patricia, about premarital sex. And about this guy -- he doesn't really love you. If he did, would he ask you to do something against God's law when he knows you want to obey God? No. Absolutely not. He's not thinking about you. He's thinking about his glands and what he wants. And in 1 Corinthians 13:5, in the love chapter, we are told that love "is not self-seeking."

This guy isn't concerned about what's right and wrong. The truth of God's law doesn't matter to him. And again in 1 Corinthians 13, verse 6, God says,

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

What this guy wants is sex; real love isn't a part of this picture, and that means he cannot love you the way God wants you to be loved.

Something else really disturbs me about your letter, Patricia. You said if you didn't have sex with him now you might lose him. That tells me you are more concerned about this guy than finding and obeying God's will for your life. Quite honestly, you are letting this guy become your God. He is first in your life. That is dangerous territory.

God doesn't play games with us. He makes that very clear. Jesus said in Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" And in John 14:15, Jesus said it again, "If you love me, you will obey what I command."

So what you are doing, Patricia, is mocking God. You are saying that you know what God wants you to do, but you aren't willing to do it. You are putting your boyfriend above God. And you are fooling yourself if you think you can fool God.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows," we are told in Galatians 6:7. I can't tell you exactly what you will reap if you turn your back on God and go to bed with this guy or any other guy. That sexual sin could have any number of serious consequences: broken fellowship with God, guilt and shame, loss of dignity, AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease, low self-esteem, unwanted pregnancy, stirred up desires which can't be fulfilled, and, yes, even fear.

Patricia, I plead with you. Do the right thing. Ask God to give you power and strength and desire to obey Him. Say, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"No temptation has seized (me) except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let (me) be tempted beyond what I can bear. But when (I am) tempted, he will also provide a way out so that (I) can stand up under it."

Commit yourself to the truth, Patricia, and I promise you God will help you. Explain it to your boyfriend. And if he keeps pushing you -- if he pushes you even once -- then lose him. Break it off. It's simply not worth it.

Remember, God loves you. With his help, you can do it. I know you can.

Author: Dawson McAllister of Dawson McAllister Live!
Copyright © 1997, 1998, Dawson McAllister Live!


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Thought For The Day:

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you."--Dale Carnegie


Verse for the Day:

"Love one another with brotherly affection--as members of one family--giving precedence and showing honor to one another." --Romans 12:10 AMP


Teen's Thought For The Day:

"Treat everyone alike, no matter from what station in life he comes... really great men and women are those who are natural, frank, and honest with everyone with whom they come into contact."


Parent's Thought For The Day

"Children learn what they observe."


Coach's Thought For The Day

"Court a volleyball player tonight."


Deep Thought For The Day:

"Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,
you'll be able to enjoy it a second time."


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Let's Go Surfing Dude!


What's the Big Deal About Premarital Sex?

Visit the link below to find answers to many of your questions about love and sex!

http://www.heart4teens.com/love_and_sex


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Author MICHAEL T. POWERS
www.Heart4Teens.com

Contributing Author to Chicken Soup for the Teen's Soul on Love and Friendship and 21 other inspirational books.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

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ALL-STAR Ministry

--The Youth Church of Faith Community Church in Janesville, WI

If you are in 6-12th grade and live in the southern Wisconsin/northern Illinois area and would like to check us out, we meet every Sunday night from 6:30-8:00 PM at Faith Community Church which is located at 2931 Lucerne Dr. in Janesville, WI. (About 3 blocks south-east of The Skating Place.)

Currently we have students from Fort Atkinson, Milton, Janesville Craig, Janesville Parker, Marshall, Orfordville, Clinton, Beloit Memorial, Beloit Turner, South Beloit, and Hononegah. E-mail me back if you have any questions about our weekly meetings or would like to come to any of our events that are listed below... We have way too much fun and then, most importantly, talk about issues that are relevant to you as a teenager.


New Series!  "The Seven Checkpoints"
 
THIS WEEK:  Sunday March 20 -- Journey to the Cross (Multi-Sensory Experience!)

Sunday March 27 -- No Youth Group (Easter Sunday)
 
Sunday April 3 -- Worship Night with special guest band "The Least of These"  (check out their website at:  http://www.theleastofthese.us

Sunday April 10 -- Others First
Sunday April 17 -- Others First Part 2



UPCOMING EVENTS


Friday March 25: Spring Break Lock-In!   7:30 pm - Saturday 8:00 am.

Saturday May 15:  Annual Fireside Theater Trip! (Juniors and Seniors Only)

April 29-31:  Xtreme Teens Camping Trip!

June 26:  Senior Sunday!

July 6:  Great America Trip!

July 22-23:  30-Hour Famine (high school only)

September 16-18:  Annual Fall Retreat!

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Teen Community Groups
6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights
 
Wednesday night community groups for teens. The groups are limited to no more than ten teens and are split into Jr. High and High School ages. This night is for those teens who want to dig deeper than what we do in All-Stars, but may not be ready to be a part of the Extreme Teens. These cell groups will also be doing special activities with each other as the year goes on to build community.

Join us as we do a Bible Study called "Life Together!"
 
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The Extreme Teens

6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights  is on Wednesday nights from 6:30 - 8:00 PM

"Extreme Teens" meet Wednesday nights from 6:30 - 8:00 PM (September -May). This group is very extensive with weekly homework, memorization, service projects, etc. Students interested in this group will have to fill out an application, provide references as to why others think they should be involved with this, and sign an agreement as to what is expected of them.

Join us as we study the book "A Life God Rewards For Teens"

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Reading Books, Changing Lives!


For those of you who love to read or love to give out books as gifts...

You can now order a number of different autographed best-selling inspirational books for the same price you would get them in the store, the shipping to you is paid for, and you are helping change the lives of teenagers and those they come in contact with! 

If you love to read inspirational stories, these books are most likely those you will eventually buy anyway. And how cool would it be to be able to buy books like those in the Chicken Soup series for your friends and family with a personalized autographed message by one of the contributing authors! How's that for a unique gift! Check out this link to find out more!

http://www.HeartTouchers.com/books